I know we talk about how the adoption process can feel like a "roller coaster" of emotions. And as many of you are already familiar with, this "roller coaster" can be an exhausting experience. In addition to the ups and downs of this journey, the adoption process is full of waiting and waiting can be tiring in and of itself. Waiting comes in many forms. Waiting to hear back from your home study provider to make sure they have everything they need from you. Waiting to hear back from an agency/attorney to see if your application has been processed. Waiting to hear back about an adoption grant/loan Waiting and wondering when that next situation will come through. Waiting to find out if you were chosen. Waiting for the baby to be born. Waiting for the expectant mother to sign consents. Whew! That's exhausting. It's no wonder why they say that adoption is not for the faint of heart!
In addition to the ups and downs, and the waiting, it can also be overwhelming answering others questions about your adoption journey. "Is your home study complete yet? Why is it taking so long? Have you seen many situations? Why weren't you chosen? Why is adoption so expensive? Do you know a lot about the birth mother?" Although most family and friends mean well, sometimes these questions can be exhausting and lead to further discouragement in the process. "Yeah, this is taking a long time! I wonder if we will ever be chosen."
Through the long and overwhelming seasons of waiting and the roller coaster of emotions that the adoption process can bring, I want to encourage you to take time to rest and recharge throughout this journey. This may look a little different for every couple and/or family, but I encourage you to take time to do things that will be refreshing for your soul and mind. Perhaps this means going on a simple weekend getaway to stay a night in one of your favorite neighboring cities. Perhaps this means having a date night where you both commit to not talk about adoption (sometimes you need a break from adoption conversations/questions). Maybe this looks like learning something new or picking up an old hobby you haven't tried in awhile. Maybe this could be a girl’s night out where you go to dinner with friends while your husband watches the kiddos (and next time you can treat him to a guy's night out, of course!). Maybe this just means going on a long run/walk while listening to some of your favorite music. Maybe recharging for you could be going on a family hike and bringing along a picnic. If you haven't taken any time to rest and recharge recently, I encourage you to put something on the schedule. Plan it. We can make lists of things we want to do all day, but I've found if we don't schedule it, typically that's a pretty good indicator that it won't happen.
Sometimes when we are exhausted and overwhelmed we can begin to see things through the perspective of our fears and doubt: "Why isn't this happening? God, are you not listening to my prayers? What's wrong with us? Why aren't we being chosen?" As you are taking time to rest and recharge, it's my prayer that God would renew your spirit and your mind. It's my hope that you would find your complete rest in the Lord and His promises that are true for you yesterday, today and tomorrow. If you are overwhelmed with worry and fear about the future or your present circumstances, Jesus has some comforting words for you: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).
***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at firstname.lastname@example.org and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***